Where's Walley now? In Hollywood baby!

Uh so life took an interesting turn of events. I finished a Bsc 4 year degree in Business Management, gave up the prospect of working in Banking and analysing business risks all day (well for the moment at least) and decided to move to Hollywood to pursue acting. Yes, I was good at the business stuff. I was good at analysing risk. Ha. But this time I figured, high risk, high reward....

Potentially.

What use is life, if you don't try and live it hey?

XOXO

More poetry: I miss you

So I needed some serious procrastinating and felt a creative mood come by.....enjoy :)

I miss you,

I miss you, like a droplet of sun through a cloudy sky

I miss you like my oldest friend, who went away without saying goodbye

I miss you,

I miss you like the silent wake after a blinding storm

I miss you like the winter fall undone to summers joys transformed

I miss you,

I miss you like pasttimes eating candyfloss and picking buttercups

I miss you like the cares of a child before we all grew up

I miss you,

I miss you like the stars that sparkle in the night

I miss you like the sun at dusk, the first glimpse of light

I miss you,

I miss you like the view of the city seen through blind eyes

I miss you like the unquestionable truth of perfect lies

I miss you

I miss you like I want to scream, but you cannot hear

I miss you like you are always gone, but you are always near

I miss you

I miss you like you do not know

like you do not care

The Perils of Travelling and being me

I came back home to Londre last night for the easter holiday (well barely a holiday, most of it will be spent working) and I had completely forgotten what a pain travelling can be.

Now I don't know about you but luck really doesn't seem on my side lately. There are a number of things which drive me mad....After overcoming the first hurdle of travelling - ie how much to pack (It is unbelievably difficult packing for a 2/3 week holiday away, I had to sacrifice soo many nice shoes and bags which were deemed unnecessary by my housemate! arrrrghhh the frugal life! ), I had to walk to the station with my big huge suitcase....

1. I miss the train by 30 seconds
2. So i decide to walk to the bus stop instead
3. I missed the bus by 4 minutes (some idiot decided to make the train and bus timetable exactly the same)
4. I walk back to the train station as I decide whatever happens, it will be quicker to get me to my destination
5. I buy a ticket and accidently spend £31 on a single ticket to London instead of a £32 return to London
6. I spend the next 10 minutes hitting myself
7. Get a train to London...no seats
8. Get to London....escalator isn't working
9. Wait for train to Kings Cross...it says next train in 3 minutes....its been sayin that for the last 6 minutes....why don't these things ever tell you the truth?! I'm halfway through the entire soundtrack of phantom of the opera before the train finally comes!
10. On train....no seats
11. Smelly man standing next to me (self explanatory)
12. Finally arrive at final destination and its pouring rain outside (MY LUCK SUCKS!)
13. First good news of the day. Mummy picks me up from the station :)
14. Bad news comes within the next 2 minutes. Mummy, Daddy and brother are going to wach cousin perform in High School Musical and got me a ticket
15. Spend the next 2 hours watching High School Musical performed by kids aged between 4-14ish


Love my life.

XOXO

Aliens in Bath!

Oh yes and someone mentioned whether I was abducted by aliens in one of the comments...funny that...I actually got stopped by a bunch of aliens earlier last week when I was hanging out in town. They took pictures of my shopping with their cameras and kept point to me and then to the sky like they wanted to take me somewhere...I told them to pick me up at my house....I never heard from them though....

...or did I?

Sleeping beauties

So yes I've been lame with my blogging...I had a crappy week followed by another crappy week followed by sunshine which made me happy, followed by irritable thoughts in my head that refused to go away...its not my fault! I blame humanity! And I figured no-one reads this anyway so technically speaking you are not gonna notice...but thats why i like comments! they make me happy! (you wanna make me happy right??) oh and NOTHING has happend...Like NOTHING...my life is boring...but the way I like to think about it is like this...each day that passes that nothing has happend, the likelihood of something happening will obviously increase! and the bigger the likelihood of something happening increases, the bigger the likelihood that it will be something really big...

I'm still waiting....

In the meantime...I am going to talk about things that entertain me...niggle at me...annoy me...make me laugh.....or just talk about the things i am strangely facinated by such as....watching people when they are asleep!

...or doing things to people when they are asleep

like my little brother...who I love...dearly...

(PS: I didn't draw on him as a sign of abuse...hes a minor! I'm protecting him!)

BTW the above picture is a little old...you see..i thought i had grown out of this need to do things to people when they are asleep, but i found out the other day i quite clearly hadn't

I was chillin' in my housemates room (see how careful I am not to disclose his name to save him embarassment!)....when he fell asleep at his computer and i saw a perfect picture taking opportunity...But I knew something was missing!...its obvious right? You can see it too can't you??! my housemates friend who was sitting with me watching my housemate asleep could see it....and you see, how could someone resist such an opportunity....in my head someone might as well stick a sign pointing to his butt saying 'insert something here'....(now you see it!) ...and who are we to ignore such obvious signs!?


If you ask me this picture is pretty tame....I could think of at least 10 more things to do to him...I guess this is a good sign right? That I am growing up and becoming more mature?

Until next time....


XOXO

Poetry Time....

Treachery sleeps

Blinded by love,
The blood ran deep,
While the chains of betrayal did silently creep.
They enslaved my heart,
With each beat it pulsates,
While the thread of my life is awaiting its fate

Each truth is a lie,
Each hug is deceit,
Each time we kiss,
Treachery sleeps.

Serious Sundays...Mad Mondays

So, I *was* going to post yesterday, but for some reason I just couldn't bring myself to inflict the foul mood that I was in to a space of public domain.

What I was going to post was a little of what I like to call 'creative vent'...ie poetry! And I was planning to make this a weekly thing into something I will call 'serious sundays' :) The poem that I was actually writing yesterday is still a work in progress, so I will post some older poetry I wrote a while back. BTW the subject matter of the poem and what I talk about is in no way related to the mood I am in (well not usually...im a female...we like to be complicated like that!)....so if I talk about a broken heart or an elephant dying, its not because it actually happend at that moment in time, its just something I happened to be able to write about. And if it was related to what I was feeling...I'm not going to tell you. Oh and almost all my poetry is miserable...fun times!

Anyway..enough with the sarcasm...serious now...

I can't bring myself to do it...this post has too many crude jokes and positive vibes in it...

Ok I will post the poem in the next post above...that way they are kind of separate and have different moods that don't conflict with each other...yes I'm retarded like that.

XOXO

Dog sleep runs....into a wall

When I get a dog, I want it to do exactly this!....in the meantime...I wonder if hamsters can be trained to have wacky running dreams....

Watch Dog Sleep-Runs into a Wall on CollegeHumor

XOXO

To walk or run...the bus dilemma

I don't know about you, but I have always suffered from the walk or run syndrome when it comes to buses, trains or any kind of public transport. Sometimes it just feels like the world is transpiring against you, making you suffer for having the sheer nerve for daring to take a method of transportation that uses earth's natural resources. Yep its punishing you for being a gas guzzler!

Take this morning afternoon for example, I walked to get the bus to go to Campus, and when I got to the bus stop I realised I didn't have enough change to get a ticket....I didn't panic though...there was 2 minutes till my bus was due...2 whole minutes according to the bus timetable! So I quickly crossed the road to get some money out of the cash machine...as my card was being ejected out of the machine and the money counted...what whizzed past me without stopping at the bus stop?? THE BUS! the damn bus! So that was annoying...

I figured what the hell however, I am going up to campus to go to the gym anyway (2nd time in my life, you should be soo proud!), so why don't I just walk into town (10 minutes) and then get the next bus straight up to Uni.

10 minutes later (ok 17mins, I have small legs and get distracted by shiny things on the ground way to easily!), I am almost there and see a bus already at the bus stop...

ME: I can make it, I can definately make it
*walk a bit faster*

(at this point the last person is boarding the bus)

ME: OK maybe I can't make it
*start to slow pace again*

ME: Wait! the doors are still open, he is going to hang there for a few minutes, I can make it!! I am sure I can make it!
*Break into a run*

(the doors close, the bus is still stationary and there is a person on the bus looking at me)

ME: Arrrgh don't look like I am running...casual walk!! casual walk!!
*instantly slow pace and walk really really 'casually'*

(I am standing next to the bus and the doors have not re-opened, the bus driver indicates to pull out)

ME: ooooohhh crap! I am going to miss this, why doesn't he open the door! oooh wait! whos this young uni looking fellow walking towards the bus...maybe he will knock on the bus door to get it to open
*I continue to hang around near vicinity of bus and observe young uni fellow without looking immediately interested in bus although most likely, slightly intrigued*

(Young uni looking fellow knocks on bus doors as predicted asking to get on, bus driver ignores him and finally pulls out into ongoing traffic. Person on bus looks at young uni fellow with a smirk)

*I immediately take a step back and pretend I had no interest in bus to begin with*

ME: What?! I don't wanna look like the saddo running for the bus! I had that enough as a teenager! Better him than me I say!

XOXO

BREAKING NEWS: Employees work harder to maintain job security at Royal Mail

Postman Rat, Postman Rat...


Given the current economic climate, black and white cat had to be replaced.

XOXO

Brain versus Tummy

I've been sooo busy recently and my mind has been on too many things, that I've sometimes forgot to do basic stuff like live...eat...sleep!

Take yesterday for example, or the day before that...

I got up at 7.30am, got ready, started doing work, blah blah and before I realise its 4.30pm

Brain: I haven't eaten today have I? this is bad....
Tummy: Nah I dont fancy food
Conscience: We got work to do instead
Brain: dudes, you have to eat! *I* have to eat
Tummy: Well I am kinda empty...
Anxiety: You have like 6 deadlines in the next month, you dont have time to eat you dodo, Fingers go type about the European Work Directive pronto
Fingers: We cant!....we can't think
Brain: Leave the thinking to me!! its 4.30pm I need fuuuuud!

Eventually after about 10 minutes debating with myself....
Conscience: Fine lets do it, it cant be healthy otherwise, the body needs food...even if I personally don't need food, I would feel totally bad if Brain were to die on me...
Brain: Thats good to know given without me, you would not exist!
Conscience: *muttering to self* Brain thinks she's soo clever, stupid arrogant...
Brain: Tummy you in?
Tummy: do I have to??....pah


So it seems that I am soo busy that my *I* have to tell my TUMMY its time to eat! its the wrong way around I know. And the other day for example, I had lunch with the housemate at Wagamamas....yeah great idea!


When the god of all dishes first came (tama rice), my eyes seemed a little disappointed and were like "ooh whats that dark stuff over there? is that normal?", my brain was like "good choice....rice is a good source of energy", my tummy was like "hmmmm not bad, could take it or leave it" and my mouth was like "yeaaaaah thats the stuff"

So I just ate, come 20 minutes later...

Tummy: Stop! I can't take anymore!
Brain: You can do this! You can finish! We dont wanna waste food!
Conscience: but we are done and overeating causes stretchi...
Tummy: StretchinG!!!!!
Skin: OMG!
Butt: OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! DUDE STOP NOW!

Tummy (Screaming): no no no no no!
Mouth: yummmm...mooooooore!
Brain: go go go go go!
Conscience: stop Brain stop!

*Brain sending signals to arms and hands to put food in mouth*

Hands/arms/fingers: Caaaannn't stop! Brain controlling movements! cannnnn't stoooooopp! must move!

...and it seems like every single body part is arguing with itself!! and my overall self is like "What the hell is going on! Just get on why don't you!!"

So it seems I am having these little mini arguments with myself like everyday! I don't get it! I am sure this is a serious sign of madness...

XOXO

Men: How to be attractive to Women

Men: How to be attractive to Women

So according to this dude, being attractive is quite easy...there are four key steps and if you do it, girls will be instantly attracted to you...oh and apparantly 'attraction is NOT A CHOICE' (!!!???)

Step 1: You should come preselected by other women - ie basically you should have female friends to be near you and hang off your arm

Step 2: You should be a leader of men - not like Ceasar or Moses or anything...You just have to show that your male friends semi respect you or that you are popular...

Step 3: Be a protector of loved ones - of your friends and family...this kinda fits into steps 1 and 2 which is 'have friends male and female who you like enough to stand up for'...so far its looking pretty simple huh?

Step 4: Have a willingness to emote - according to this dude, it means show that you are 'normal' and therefore get pissed off when someone spills their drink all over you....


So there you have it.....Have friends both male and female who you like and who like you....and dont be a psycho and have normal brain functioning...4 steps to GUARANTEED attraction.
......and apparantly because of evolution...if they work and I am uber attracted to you, then I will revert to an ape like state and start itching myself so that you think I have nits and want to groom me....because thats how mating works, isn't it?

XOXO

Introducing Cheesepuff the hamster!

My little sister got a hamster for her birthday and when I went home I decided to do a little bit of sister, sister, hamster bonding....hes really cute....like really really cute....


See look at those little whiskers and cute ears and adorable eyes!!! He makes a girl go weak and slushy in a way a man never could. Innocent, cute, pure, googly eyes! My sister decided to call him Cheesepuff because she fed him a little bit of cheese and he really seems to love it...not to mention, he's a puffy ball of fluff...so cheesepuff just kinda stuck

After a few hours we felt it was only right that Cheesepuff was introduced to the rest of the family....I am sure that secretly he was thinking 'If I stay still long enough, no-one will notice me and I won't ever have to go back inside my cage again!!'...wahey...freedom!


Eventually Cheesepuff got a little bored of the miniture toys and realised his cheap ploy to go undetected will not work on such a clever family, so he ventured round the rest of 'le famille' home...and oh look!! Barbie!!!....


Yeah.....thats Cheesepuff taking advantage of Barbie all right...I could insert a rude joke here playing on cheesepuffs name and the region of Barbie in which he became interested....I know several males who can think of way wittier comments for this picture than me.....but you see, I'm just not that kinda girl....

In case you're wondering, I've confiscated Barbie, I don't think shes a very good influence on our cute Cheesepuff

I like my hamsters cute and innocent thank you very much

XOXO

The rules to the London Underground...yeah there are rules!!

So I was back in London at the weekend taking my usual train journey back home, when some people did several things that I must say annoyed me a little.
Theres a certain system to travelling in London...certain rules that people should abide to...it doesnt take a genius to work them out, I mean just look at everyone else and you will get the gist...yaa as a Londoner we pride ourselves on being totally original, unique and therefore we can wear what we like and do what we like and no-one would look twice and we would not care...(but this isn't Camden!!.. and you can't do what you like, and other people do look twice and you should care...on the underground at least)

So, I feel its my duty as an upstanding citizen of the United Kingdom and of high moral character to highlight these rules...

Rule #1: If you don't know me, don't talk to me.... train time is quiet time...unless you have a specific purpose that isn't to 'just chat'...like if you are lost and want to know whether the train is going via bank or via charing cross - I love helping lost people...what i don't like is strangers talking to me for the sake of it and asking where I live, Duh!

Rule #2: Singing to your Ipod is NOT cool...really...in your head you are hearing Mariah....in my head I am begging for the train to hurry

Rule #3: Don't eat smelly food or fart on the train...(although I have to admit I am guilty of this one myself; the smelly food not the farting...sometimes theres just no other convenient time to eat....as long as you don't touch anything with your hands...)

Rule #4: You stare at me and I WILL stare twice as hard

Rule #5: I know you have a mobile phone...I have one too....but I don't want to hear you playing your whole catalogue of ringtones and I don't want to hear the conversation about how you argued with your sisters boyfriend because he was too naughty for his own good

Rule #6: Public Displays of Affection (PDA's) are for hotel rooms...not trains

and very a very important rule for when in the underground but not on the trains..

Rule #7: When on the escalators, you STAND on the right and WALK on the left....this one is pretty obvious..and yet you can always tell a tourist because they think you can stand and chat away in pairs on the escalator and don't realise that when they are standing on the left, no-one is standing in front of them and there is a growing queue of annoyed looking Londoners standing behind them....but there is a system...a SYSTEM. if you are in a rush you WALK on the LEFT and to get there twice as fast...the RIGHT hand side is for people that have all the time in the world and 'like' the ride and therefore stand STILL....ok?...glad that was agreed!

So hey presto, the rules of the underground. :) If I have missed any you can scream at me in your own time...otherwise a comment is more humane

....Oh and although I havn't seen any enforcement of these rules in the underground I did happen to see this sign at a bus stop on the way home...The text at the bottom says "A little thought from each of us, A big difference for everyone"
....ya ya my sentiments precisely

XOXO