Just another poem

Musically enchanted

By her elegance, poise and grace,

A reflection of perfection,

In the strength of her pointe

to the delicacy of her lace.

And in the echo of her encore,

I catch myself.

But I am just an ordinary girl,

A blurry vision in a mirror fogged with awe.

And to that girl whom eyes adored,

Maybe I should hang up my ballet shoes once more.

Old dreams

I went shopping the other day :o I bought a leotard (like a tutu but without the frilly stuff). Ok it wasn't the traditional leotard, I didn't buy it from a dance shop...rather American Apparel but when I put it on I look like a dancer. I actually bought it because I wanted to feel like a dancer.

You see when I was younger I dreamed of being a ballerina... I used to watch Giselle ou Les Wilis, Swanlake,The Nutcracker and pretty much every single Ballet you could think of. I loved the music, the stories and the ability to portray intense emotions through a dance. I dreamed of being Odette or dancing among the ou Wilis. I did ballet for several years always dreaming I would someday be a professional. I gave up when it came to pointe (dancing on the toes) which is incredibly bad for you. I'm not really sure what happened. :/ To say that I became spatially challenged is probably an understatement. I bump into things... my parents compare my walking around the house to an elephant... I have the flexibility of a banana. Ok wait, that last bit isn't true. But either way, I cannot do the splits and for some reason that disappoints me.

Anyway...I'm not a ballerina. I no longer dream of being a dancer. I just have crazy little moments here and there where I think of life if I decided to follow a different route. If I followed my ballet instead of stopping ten years ago, I would probably be on a stage right now (assuming I was any good) with disgusting looking toes and a non-existent diet (I remember being told to cut down on food if I wanted to dance....I was about 10). I could also have been a banker, I could still be a banker. I have the next 2 or so years to decide before a bank will probably never hire me again. The difference with one route and the next, is that sometimes once you make a decision you cannot go back on it. Sometimes you don't even realise the importance of one decision until 5 years down the line. You're at a fork and once you take one route, the path behind you suddenly disintegrates into nothingness and you are stuck on that route whether you like it or not. Sometimes this is a bad thing... sometimes it's not.

So I can't be a ballerina now even if I wanted. But that's OK. I forgot that dream years ago. Instead now, I buy leotards, look in the mirror and think of what might have been. And in this case, I don't miss anything...

Except the ability to maybe do the splits... :-/